In much of the western world, the norm seems to be to date for a while, live together for a bit, get engaged for a few years and then married in a church. This is followed by a reception akin to a Roman Banquet; lots of gorging on food... guzzling of wine... but with less sex and copious amounts of drunken Dad/Uncle dancing.
Well Vietnamese weddings are significantly different to this - with several ceremonies steeped in tradition, lots of colorful outfits and a wedding banquet that everyone turns up to an hour late!
The first ceremony involves the mother of the groom going to the bride's house and asking permission to "receive" the bride. Historically many brides fled before their arranged marriage, so this acted as a way to check the bride was actually there before the grooms family made a potentially embarrassing trip. Most are now by choice (including ours), so we're going to skip this.
The second ceremony is the actual "receiving of the bride", which starts with a procession by the grooms family to the brides house. An even number of friends accompany the groom's family and act as the bearer of gifts (an odd number is unlucky) and likewise the bride will have the same number of friends at her side to receive the gifts - similar to the role of bridesmaids.
Some gifts are symbolic and some are to display the wealth of the family, typically these include wine, tea, fruits, cakes, a roast pig and personal gift for the bride - a bit like offering a dowry.
This is followed by the bride and groom asking permission from the brides ancestors, burning incense at the family altar and asking for blessings over the marriage and their future family.
Next is a tea drinking ceremony, where the bride and groom serve tea to their parents who impart a few words of advice about marriage. Candles are also burned to symbolise the union of their families. Tea is then served to other family members starting with grandparents, aunts and uncles. If my future brother and sister in laws wedding is anything to go by, tea may just be replaced by whiskey - my Dad and Brother will be happy men!
After the tea drinking ceremony the grooms gifts are opened by the brides family and the family offer their gifts to the bride and groom also. Gifts are generally given at the reception, which is where we head to next...
Vietnamese families are big and with friends, neighbours etc... it's quite normal to have 200 hundred people attend. Everyone arrives 1 hour after the start time and tries to grab a photo with the happy couple on their way into the wedding hall, as the party starts.
Circular tables that seat 10 people are spread around the hall and there isn't a strict seating plan, but the tables at the end closest to the stage are normally reserved for close family and friends.
Once most of the guest are seated the bridal party make their way to the stage, accompanied by music, dancing and firecrackers! We've decided to have a short ceremony similar to a traditional western wedding, which will be followed by pouring champagne down a pyramid of glasses (very 80's) and the cutting of the cake.
Several courses of food, lots of beer and shouts of "mot-hai-ba yo!" (1-2-3 yo!) follow for the next couple of hours and before you know it the reception has ended... and it's time for the after party! We'll organise some drinks and music at a friends bar downtown, which will no doubt go on into the wee hours... nothing like forgetting your wedding night!
That should give you a pretty good idea of what to expect, but no Vietnamese ceremony I've attended has ever gone 100% to plan. It has, however, been exceptionally good fun :)
The second ceremony is the actual "receiving of the bride", which starts with a procession by the grooms family to the brides house. An even number of friends accompany the groom's family and act as the bearer of gifts (an odd number is unlucky) and likewise the bride will have the same number of friends at her side to receive the gifts - similar to the role of bridesmaids.
Some gifts are symbolic and some are to display the wealth of the family, typically these include wine, tea, fruits, cakes, a roast pig and personal gift for the bride - a bit like offering a dowry.
This is followed by the bride and groom asking permission from the brides ancestors, burning incense at the family altar and asking for blessings over the marriage and their future family.
Next is a tea drinking ceremony, where the bride and groom serve tea to their parents who impart a few words of advice about marriage. Candles are also burned to symbolise the union of their families. Tea is then served to other family members starting with grandparents, aunts and uncles. If my future brother and sister in laws wedding is anything to go by, tea may just be replaced by whiskey - my Dad and Brother will be happy men!
After the tea drinking ceremony the grooms gifts are opened by the brides family and the family offer their gifts to the bride and groom also. Gifts are generally given at the reception, which is where we head to next...
Vietnamese families are big and with friends, neighbours etc... it's quite normal to have 200 hundred people attend. Everyone arrives 1 hour after the start time and tries to grab a photo with the happy couple on their way into the wedding hall, as the party starts.
Circular tables that seat 10 people are spread around the hall and there isn't a strict seating plan, but the tables at the end closest to the stage are normally reserved for close family and friends.
Once most of the guest are seated the bridal party make their way to the stage, accompanied by music, dancing and firecrackers! We've decided to have a short ceremony similar to a traditional western wedding, which will be followed by pouring champagne down a pyramid of glasses (very 80's) and the cutting of the cake.
Several courses of food, lots of beer and shouts of "mot-hai-ba yo!" (1-2-3 yo!) follow for the next couple of hours and before you know it the reception has ended... and it's time for the after party! We'll organise some drinks and music at a friends bar downtown, which will no doubt go on into the wee hours... nothing like forgetting your wedding night!
That should give you a pretty good idea of what to expect, but no Vietnamese ceremony I've attended has ever gone 100% to plan. It has, however, been exceptionally good fun :)
No comments:
Post a Comment